A Pocket Archive (28)

I will never learn to love 4 lane highways, or the commute to KC, but the 4Runner was a tremendous upgrade, even with some slight springiness in the suspension.

I'd never had a dream car growing up. I guess I never cared much, though I could rattle off a few shiny sportscars if someone asked me. Part of me still doesn't, but I feel better knowing my vehicle can now handle anything, from carseats to cliffs and having it feels like proof that I'm more than capable of providing myself with whatever I want if I put my mind to it and work hard enough. It's partially elbow grease and determination, but I honestly believe that more than anything, my adaptibilty and knack for learning things quickly and reaching my goals is a God-given gift. Whether it's the result of talent or tenacity, I also enjoy the way it always surprised others. I'd never doubted my ability to care for myself, but sometimes it surprises me too. Other times, I just enjoy the quiet assurance that always comes with cosmic winks and serendipitous timing.

The Toyota hadn't been an easy choice. I knew enough from my mechanic friends not to buy a Mitsubishi, Mini Coup, or worse, any KIA or Hyundai (especially the newer ones, which was a bummer because I liked the colors), but Toyotas are legendary for reliability. I needed something that could handle extra/growing passengers and frequent trips to the Rocky Mountains, but somehow the perfect opportunity had fallen in my lap at the perfect moment again. It seemed too good to be true, but some signs can't be ignored and it made me feels safer, both physically and it terms of the investment.

I'd wanted to do something to personalize my new ride, but somehow it felt wrong to sticker something so new and perfect, even just putting a bedazzled cover on the steering wheel, so instead I just put a small decal on the mirror that read "punch today in the face" and hung my gnome charm at the base. I also plugged in my portable aromatherapy diffuser, and usually hit "loop" on my main roadtrip playlist, which contains synthwave and several of my favorite 80's/alt songs. I'd miss my pretty Wyoming plates, and my "princess" but somehow, putting KS ones on 'Strelka' just felt right. I wasn't trying to make it fit into anything this time and while I'd never followed the crowd, I still didn't like standing out either. It was nice to be invisible.

Tonight, everything just seems perfect. I feel unstoppable and like the world is an endless highway, like I could drive off into the sunset and keep going for forever, straight into some neon-bathed heaven that never stops. Everything in my life- even my ride and mode of transportation- is stabilizing, safe, and seemingly indestructible.

Sometimes I wonder if I maybe I just appreciate things more now. It's true that I have everything I need, good friends, a steady job, and a future I'm excited for, so there's a lot to appreciate, but I think a lot of it is just simple contrast. Nothing makes bad things or evil acts good, but I do enjoy all the wonderful things in life so much more than before.