Birthday

The fireworks aren't for me but the feel like they were.

I'm warm and completely happy under the snowflake quilt mom made me for last year. It has literal miles of thread in it and dozens of quilted snowflakes in sparkling silver and gold. I can't imagine how long she spent on it, and I honestly think she was afraid I might melt and disappear like one at the time. To be honest and I nearly did, even though a small miracle had made the world brighter. The scars are there still but I'm so much better now, and today in particular, it just feels good to be alive.

The giant brought me chocolate and a cake after the game, and laughed at the paint in my hair. We didn’t cut it tonight because it was late, but it was so sweet. It's nice that he thinks of me, and having him in my life is a strange and wonderful contrast to anything I'd experienced previously. No games, no pretentious fluff and grandeur, no lies, and no fear- just a steady, stoic reliableness and easy friendship that never makes me feel like I have to worry about what I say or do. I often find myself wondering if he likes kids, and what sort of future there could be down the line, but I'm also not in any hurry to find out.

My ear still feels hot from all the phonecalls today. It was nice, but it can get exhausting. I spoke will all my girls, my grandparents, and Dad and I talked for a while. Mom's reading him her book today. I will still never be able to comprehend that she was able to write 300 pages in 2 weeks, but I'm proud of her. It has a special kind of magic in it that makes the soul feel happy and warm, the same way roasting marshmallows on a campfire does, or watching a meteor shower can. It's just a good story.

It's hard losing another year to Time, but I'm excited to see what happens in this one, and I'm so happy that I have the most wonderful people to share it with. Life never makes sense, but sometimes that's okay, and some of the results are more beautiful than I could have ever hoped for.