Canvas

I rarely make fanart, I but have been binge watching The X Files (I had never seen it before) for the long weekend and trying to use up my lower quality paints. It's been a while since I've made anything just for fun, and it made me feel the way I image that cut flowers do after being carried home and put into water: like being reconnected to my life-source. It's also only the second time I have ever tried painting people, with the last time being my junior year in college, and this time, I pulled it off with cheap, intro-grade acrylics (sans a few shades I'd run out of), without even thinking about it.

Sometimes my life feels similar, because while what I've been given to work with hasn't been great, somehow it always turns into something impossibly good in spite of the hands I'm dealt. I can't take credit for much of it since there's Someone much bigger than me directing my path, but I'm still proud of myself for sticking with and working with whatever handed to me. I've survived a lot of shifty situations, but I've also grown and I really like the person I am now, even though I resent the years I missed out on or had stolen from me.

Painting isn't easy, and neither is life. Sometimes it's fun, and sometimes accidents happen or you get stuck and don't know what you're doing or how to fix it. While sometimes the solution is to step back and leave it alone for a bit, other times you have to keep at it until something clicks into place. Other times you just have to try looking at it from a new angle to stop yourself from over-thinking. Sometimes I'll turn my canvas or flip it upside down so I can see the shapes for what they are, rather than when my brain thinks it is. Once that happens, everything falls into place on its own.

One of the hardest things in life to learn is that you have to trust the process. That doesn't mean be apathetic or surrendering to fatalism, but just because you're working with crap doesn't mean things won't turn out well. It's easy to see that when things are going well, of course, but not when it's all falling apart. While horrible things can happen and there are many very evil people in the world, the Great Artist doesn't make mistakes, and no matter the chaos, it will make sense eventually. Every day, I see the picture He's creating a little more clearly. I thought my life was a ruined canvas, but instead, it's better than anything I would have expected, and I think I understand why and how all the little peices fit together now. It's not finished yet, but I'm excited to see what He's got planned.

Materials don't matter if they're in the right hands. Keep plugging along, enjoy your life, and remember that no matter how messy it can get, it'll turn out in the end. He's got your back, and all things work out for the good of those who love Him.